Why Do Autistic Children Destroy Their Toys?

Children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), or autistic children, often have play patterns that seem abnormal to neurotypical people.

One of these play behaviors that can confuse parents and loved ones is toy destruction. While this might seem like irrational, chaotic behavior from the outside looking in, many autistic children have a reason for engaging in it.

So why? Why do autistic children destroy their toys? We’ll dive into this question below and offer some insights into what destructive behavior may be trying to communicate.

Why Do Some Autistic Children Destroy Their Toys?

There are lots of reasons an autistic child might destroy their toys or other household items.

No two autistic children are the same, which means the root of their behaviors can vary, too. But in many cases, disobedience or destruction is not necessarily the goal behind breaking, throwing, or otherwise damaging things.

For example, a child who tosses a toy during a meltdown may be trying to drive home a message when they can’t find the words to tell you something. Or, perhaps they’re simply curious about what will happen after they pull something apart.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons why an autistic child might seemingly act destructively.

Unique Sensory Needs

Many children with ASD face frequent understimulation or overstimulation. If your child is prone to understimulation, they might stim a lot to keep their nervous system satisfied. When they don’t have a more productive outlet for sensory input, they might resort to destroying toys.

On the flip side, a child feeling overstimulated may have a harder time controlling impulses or communicating, which can lead to things like throwing, breaking, or hitting objects.

Communication Frustrations

Another possible reason your autistic child destroys their toys is that they want to tell you something. The message often has something to do with the toy itself. For instance, they might rip the head off a doll if they’re frustrated that the doll’s legs and arms do not bend.

Autistic children also experience sensory overload at higher rates. When that occurs, their body is receiving too much stimuli, and the brain responds by going into fight or flight (or freeze) mode to regulate itself. Your child’s decision-making ability can decrease in that moment, and they may engage in property destruction in an attempt to regain control.

Differing Play Styles

Disassembling toys might simply be your child’s preferred way to play. While neurotypical children might be content with pushing around a toy fire truck, your autistic child may want to investigate the wheels and axles. This reflects the desire of many autistic children to understand how toys and tools function at a basic level.

How to Respond when Your Autistic Child Destroys Things

Seeing your child destroy toys and other household items is distressing, but it’s important to pause and consider why they’re doing it. It’s valid to be frustrated, but yelling and automatically punishing the behavior may send the wrong message.

Here are some ways to respond thoughtfully and productively:

• Remove them from stimuli (loud noises, uncomfortable clothing) that may be causing a meltdown.
• Take away sharp objects that can cause physical harm.
• Give short, easily understandable requests.
• Redirect the behavior to malleable toys that are better suited for rough play (such as Silly Putty or Kinetic Sand).
• Allow them plenty of time to cool down afterward.

Limiting Destructive Behavior Long-Term

Many autistic children taper off the toy destruction as they get older. It doesn’t happen by accident, though; parents must plan for their child’s sensory needs and manage their own expectations.

Some helpful long-term interventions include:

• Buying cheap toys to limit the financial fallout of toy destruction.
• Purchasing adaptive toys that are suited to satisfy sensory demands for autistic children.
• Encouraging your child to reassemble things they take apart.
• Communicating which toys are okay to destroy and which ones are not.
• Speaking with a doctor or specialist when conventional approaches do not work.

Find Additional Support Meeting Your Autistic Loved One’s Needs

Taking advantage of every possible program and support for your autistic child can provide healthy outlets for them to express themselves. One of those programs for Californians with intellectual or developmental disabilities (IDDs) is the Self-Determination Program, a new way for Regional Center customers to receive services under the Lanterman Act.

The Self-Determination Program, or SDP, can help your child access occupational therapy, community integration, and behavioral interventions, among many other services. Many SDP participants love the flexibility it offers, but navigating the Program is often confusing or overwhelming for families.

The best way to maximize your loved one’s participation in SDP and ensure they get the right support is by contracting with an independent facilitator. NeuroNav has a team of experienced, knowledgeable, and creative independent facilitators whose sole aim is to advocate for clients’ needs.

Wondering what we can do for your autistic loved one? Reach out to schedule a free consultation.