How to Get a Girlfriend, Boyfriend, or Partner if You Have Autism

Romance isn’t reserved for neurotypical people—tons of adults with autism have rewarding, satisfying, happy partnerships!

Dating on the spectrum might require you to be vulnerable and step out of your comfort zone more than usual, but it’s rarely easy for anyone. Don’t be discouraged if you find the idea of getting a romantic partner intimidating. Below are some ways you can meet new people and build healthy, loving relationships.

Dating with Autism

Just like anyone else interested in pursuing romance and partnership, adults with autism can learn how to navigate intimate relationships and overcome social challenges. 

There might be some unique challenges that people with autism experience when looking to get into a relationship. But patience, communication, and curiosity can help you find a partner that makes you happy. 

Here are some things to keep in mind when looking for a happy romantic relationship:

• Work on communication. Be honest about your feelings and curious about others’. Take your time to express yourself clearly. Ask for clarification when you need it.
• Take responsibility for your words and actions. Be open to feedback from your partner and understand how your behavior affects them.
• Address disruptive traits or areas for improvement. Nobody is perfect, and when building a healthy relationship, there is lots of learning to do. If you are struggling with anxiety, anger, or jealousy, talk to someone you trust about how to manage it.
• Work on listening skills. It’s exciting to share about yourself and your interests, but practice listening to others without distraction or interruption.  
• Rejection is normal. Everyone, neurodivergent or not, will experience rejection in life. It doesn’t feel good, but it offers us a chance to learn what we can do differently in the future.

Where to Meet People

You might not know anyone in your daily life that you want to be your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. Meeting new people usually means getting out of your routine and trying new things. 

There are plenty of social activities for adults with autism that provide great opportunities to expand your circle. Book clubs, craft clubs, and groups that focus on your hobbies are the perfect place to meet people who have similar interests. It’s easier to talk to new people when you already have something in common.

If you find new social settings challenging or overwhelming or need extra support getting out of the house, online communities can be a great way to meet new and interesting people. 

Online multiplayer games, social media sites, and dating apps can all be accessible to people on the spectrum. Plus, online friendships and relationships can remove some of the social challenges of face-to-face interactions, making it easier to connect with others.

How to ask someone out

If you’ve met someone you are attracted to, you might reach a point where you want to enter a serious relationship with them. 

Some adults with autism find it hard to read social cues, making flirting difficult. But don’t worry – the right partner will make an effort to understand your communication style the same way you should try to understand theirs.

Body language and verbal cues can only go so far when it comes to asking someone to be your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. At some point, you will have to have to ask if feelings are mutual. This can be in person, over the phone, online, or in whatever way you are able to clearly express yourself.

When preparing to ask someone out, talk to a person you trust, like a friend or relative. Someone who knows you well may be able to give you advice or support in taking that leap with someone special. 

Conclusion: Dating With Autism

Relationships are something we all learn by doing. Mistakes and misunderstandings are normal. Keep an open mind, and be ready to learn about your partner. 

There is no perfect plan for getting a girlfriend, boyfriend, or romantic partner, but finding ways to put yourself out there and engage with others can give you a chance to practice social skills and build your confidence. Social connection is an important part of practicing self-care and building a supportive community.  

Even though relationships sometimes require compromise and flexibility, you should always look for a loyal partner who appreciates what makes you unique and embraces your strengths.

Learn More About Relationships and Self-Determination

Whether romantic or platonic, maintaining healthy relationships can bring a lot of joy into your life. Remember that getting a girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner is rarely simple for anyone. Focus on being the best you that you can be, and the right people will appreciate and celebrate what makes you special.

NeuroNav is dedicated to providing you with quality information, guidance, and support. For residents of California, the Self-Determination Program (SDP) can create more choice and flexibility in how you spend your disability benefits. NeuroNav can help you enroll in the program or provide ongoing support for those already in SDP.

Sign up for a free consultation to see how NeuroNav can help you navigate the road to self-determination.