It is normal to have concerns about dating, communication, and affection. Those concerns might be exacerbated if you are on the autism spectrum. But if you are interested in dating, there are ways to put yourself out there in a safe, accessible way.
Safe Dating on the Spectrum
Navigating relationships and social challenges is something that takes practice. The internet is a great place for neurodivergent people to find community and friendship, but there are some safety concerns to consider.
Be open and honest about your intentions, and let friends and family know what you’re doing online. You can make friends and meet romantic partners on the internet, but keeping yourself safe is always the top priority.
Dating Apps for Neurodivergent People
People with autism can use any dating app that neurotypical people use, but some might be more accessible than others. Depending on your comfort level, you can mention your diagnosis in your dating profile or wait until you get to know someone better to tell them more about yourself.
Popular dating sites like OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and dating apps like Tinder or Bumble can be hard to navigate and aren’t always easy to use for people on the spectrum.
There’s no harm in trying them out, but here are a few apps that are more accessible for neurodivergent people:
- Hinge: Popular dating app for neurotypical and neurodivergent people. People on the spectrum find Hinge easier to use because it is more personalized, expressive, and accessible. Profiles use images, text, and voice memos. The app also makes it easier to start conversations with prompts.
- Hiki: Designed for neurodivergent people to find friends and romantic partners nearby.
- Disability Match: A dating app for people with physical and intellectual disabilities, with a focus on people with autism.
Safety First
When meeting someone new, even if you’ve talked to them online already, you should always know how to keep yourself safe.
- Meet in a Public Place: Choose a well-lit, public place when you first meet. This can be a mall, park, restaurant, bar.
- Bring Friends/Double Date: Offer to meet someone new in a group or with another friend. It’s safer, and you might be more comfortable with someone you know by your side.
- Let People Know Where You Are: Make sure friends or family know where you are. Sharing your location via a phone or other device and staying in contact with trusted people is the best thing to do when meeting someone you don’t know for the first time.
- Tell Someone if You Feel Unsafe: If your date is making you uncomfortable or acting strange, let someone know. You can call someone you trust, or if you are in a restaurant, cafe, or bar, quietly let a staff member know so they can help you out.
First Date Tips
Because social situations can be challenging for people on the spectrum, you might need to be extra mindful about how you interact with a potential romantic partner.
This doesn’t mean you should always mask or suppress your authentic self, but your date is likely nervous, too, and will appreciate your efforts to make them comfortable.
- Choose a spot to hang out that isn’t overwhelming, but isn’t isolated. A public park, quiet coffee shop, or even a library is a great place to get to know someone without too much noise or crowding.
- Ask questions about the person you are meeting. Talk about yourself and your interests, but be sure to leave space for the other person to talk. A good chat is like playing catch: pass the conversation back and forth so everyone gets a chance to talk.
- Make eye contact occasionally and smile to let your date know you are enjoying their company.
- Remember that it’s okay if you decide you aren’t interested in dating them or if they don’t want to date you. Not everyone is meant for each other. Be considerate and wish them the best. Rejection is hard to give and receive, so kindness and care are important.
Learn More About Fostering Independence & Advocating for Yourself
If you’re someone who receives financial disability benefits, California’s Self-Determination Program (SDP) allows for more flexibility and choice with how you spend it. NeuroNav can help you enroll in or continue through the SDP.
Schedule a free consultation and learn more about how NeuroNav can support you in your self-determination journey.