Often, we see eye contact as a sign of attentiveness and confidence. It’s deeply rooted in human connection as a way to signal direct communication. However, for many individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), eye contact can be challenging and overwhelming.
Many times, though, this difference in communication is misunderstood, which can lead to unfair assumptions about social skills, interests, and empathy. Poor eye contact is a common difference in communication that can demonstrate how autistic brains process social and sensory information differently than the general population.
So, why do autistic people struggle with eye contact? Understanding the link between autism and eye contact—why it feels difficult or distressing for some—helps break down stereotypes and opens the door to more inclusive, compassionate conversations.
Why Do Some Autistic People Struggle with Eye Contact?
For an autistic adult, eye contact isn’t only uncomfortable—it can be physically and emotionally taxing. They’re not trying to be rude or show disinterest.
Why autistic people struggle with eye contact stems from neurological differences that shape how they process sensory input and social cues. They process faces, emotions, and eye contact differently. The amygdala, for example, is a brain region mostly associated with emotions, especially fear.
Scientists have found that for someone who’s autistic, eye contact results in heightened activity in their amygdala—resulting in stress, anxiety, or overstimulation.
Making eye contact can feel too intense because it involves decoding facial expressions and attempting to predict social cues. It can be a lot to take in all at once. This can lead to assumptions that autistic people “dislike eye contact” or make “poor eye contact.” But really, they may just be trying to self-soothe and manage discomfort.
Can autistic people make eye contact? Absolutely. Autism and its symptoms exist on a spectrum, and not all autistic people are the same. Some may find eye contact uncomfortable. Others may not realize they’re not making eye contact at all. For others, maintaining eye contact is a learned behavior rather than a genuine expression of connection.
So, not all autistic people have a hard time making eye contact – and for those who do, the reasons why can be as unique as the people themselves.
Autism and Eye Contact Differences
Cultural and social norms have taught us that prioritizing eye contact is a symbol of honest communication. But when people with autism avoid or dislike eye contact, it doesn’t make them any less trustworthy. It’s simply just a different way of engaging.
When looking at why autistic people struggle with eye contact, many report it as distracting as direct eye gaze pulls focus from the words being said. Some may prefer to look away, focusing instead on tone, body language, or the conversation itself. Others may use strategies like looking at someone’s forehead or mouth instead of their eyes.
What matters most is understanding that communication happens in many ways—not only through eye contact. Forcing it can actually hinder autistic individuals from communicating honestly and authentically.
Tips for Reading Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication
If you or a loved one is autistic, eye contact doesn’t have to be your only form of genuine connection. Here are some helpful tips for everyone:
1. Listen to What’s Being Said—Not Just How It’s Said
Pay attention to the words, tone, and context. If someone avoids eye contact but responds thoughtfully, they’re still engaged.
2. Respect Communication Boundaries
Don’t force or demand eye contact. Instead, create a comfortable, safe space where everyone can communicate in ways that work best for them.
3. Learn to Look for Other Cues
If someone has poor eye contact, they might show they’re listening by nodding, repeating information, or asking questions. These may be more reliable indicators than just eye contact by itself.
4. Check In
If you’re unsure how someone prefers to communicate, ask! A simple, “Would you prefer we don’t make eye contact?” can go a long way in making someone feel included and respected.
Learn More About Communicating Across the Spectrum
So, why do autistic people struggle with eye contact? Because everyone’s brain is wired differently. For some, eye contact can be overstimulating, anxiety-inducing, and unnatural. By understanding the relationship between autism and eye contact, we can all practice more compassionate and inclusive communication.
If you’re interested in learning more about supporting yourself or other autistic individuals, NeuroNav is here to help. California residents who qualify for the Self-Determination Program (SDP) can leverage our independent facilitation services to access the support and services they deserve.
To learn more about SDP services and how they can help you or a loved one, schedule a free consultation today.
