With autism and emotions, the line between little feelings and big feelings can often blur. For an autistic person, small changes might be processed in a major way, or big emotions might appear absent. The reasons for this vary from person to person, but there are key things to understand about the way autism and emotions intersect.
We all cope with stressful, anxious, frustrating, or other intense situations in our own way. This is called emotional regulation, and we do it with varying degrees of success.
Autism and Emotional Regulation
For people with autism, emotional regulation may be more difficult to navigate. Many rely on self-soothing behaviors called stimming to help process intense emotions. Stimming can be anything from a repetitive movement like hand flapping or pacing, or creating noises through humming or tapping, to seeking out certain stimuli like specific smells or lights.
It’s a typically harmless form of regulating emotions in autism, but some stims can be extreme. Hitting, biting, head-banging, and more can stem from overwhelming feelings of frustration or anger. It’s very important to understand stimming behaviors to know what’s helpful and what’s harmful.
Causes & Effects of Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation in autism can happen because of how people experience sensory information differently. A person with autism may see, smell, hear, taste, or feel things much more intensely than a neurotypical person.
Big changes or discomforts in life can add to these sensory inputs and cause emotional dysregulation. Maybe there’s a major shift in routine, or a stressful work situation, or even physical pain. These changes and more, when combined with sensory overload, can send a person with autism into emotional meltdown.
Meltdowns are the most apparent sign of emotional dysregulation. They’re big, involuntary reactions to overstimulation that include physical and emotional responses. Because people with autism often have increased sensitivity, they can be at higher risk of experiencing an emotional meltdown.
Autistic Individuals Are Not “Emotionless,” Either
On the flip side, people with autism can sometimes seem unaffected by the big emotions of a particular moment. This might give them the appearance of being emotionless, but it’s far from the truth. It’s often the case that they’re experiencing a delayed emotional response.
It can take time for autistic people to process and express how they feel. This again is caused by the senses, as the autistic brain doesn’t always ignore minor sensory inputs like the neurotypical brain can.
For example, it can be hard to react quickly to someone’s exciting news when you’re constantly aware of your own heartbeat and are wondering if it's the right speed. This tendency to feel or see or hear or smell too much all at once, without being able to filter through it all, can cause people with autism to express their emotions with a delay.
Tips for Supporting Emotional Regulation (In Yourself & Others)
The best way to support your own emotional regulation and that of others is through patience and awareness. It’s possible to decrease stress and increase your level of alertness by giving yourself and others time and space to process feelings.
Here are some tips for supporting emotional regulation:
- Address feelings of overwhelm. Try to reduce sensory inputs where you can.
- Understand self-soothing strategies. Accept and embrace safe stimming behaviors.
- Avoid making comments. Don’t ask too many questions if you can avoid it. This can contribute to overwhelming feelings and frustration.
- Consider some emotional aid tools. Some examples include:
- The five-point scale
- Zones of Regulation
- Autism emotion charts (like this one)
- It’s ok to fail. In fact, it’s possible to fail with dignity. Try new things, and learn from your experiences and mistakes.
Find More Resources for Autistic Adults at NeuroNav
There’s no need to navigate life with autism on your own. NeuroNav has a wealth of insight, resources, and helpful guides for autistic adults and others living with developmental or intellectual disabilities.
Our independent facilitation services are ready to put expert guidance and support on your side. Don’t wait to start building your independent future: schedule a consultation with us today at NeuroNav.
